I never even knew

I just found out that my former best friend, the one I used to not be able to go 2-3 days without seeing because we had so much to talk about all the time, the one who knew everything about me, the one who shared dreams and aspirations and fears and passions with me for several important years of my life, this former best friend is now divorced. 

Divorced.

And I never knew until tonight.

How does this happen?  This happens when you haven't been on speaking terms for over a year.  For reasons no one remembers exactly just that it had something to do with deep feelings of betrayal and broken promises.  I don't know exactly how this happens just that the fact that it does, the fact that someone you once were so intimate with is now a complete stranger, the fact that when you see them again it's just like you never knew them, the fact of such badly broken friendships leaves me deeply quiet and immensely sad.  It happens.  Here's a review of a book about such tragedy in human relationships.  The comfort lies only in knowing that it happens to everyone and there's no easy way to explain why or how two human beings can hurt each other so deeply.

She's divorced now.  And I never even knew.

Comments

[Hugo]

Oh, Barb, I know exactly how this feels -- so very, very well. (I'm usually the friend that folks find out is divorced, of course...)

Where were you in Colombia? My fiancee's family is in the north, in Cesar... we were up on their finca last summer...

[barb]

And actually it's not so much the "divorced" part that shocks me, it's the "my former best friend went through a major life event without me" that's difficult and painful to grasp.